Hollys' Story.....

Hi all, I thought I would share this with you because....well... because, I know we all

have stories to tell.....but this is one that means alot to my family.

 I am quite regularly plagued by moments of

dissatisfaction, frustration, and just pure ungratefulness of 

all that I have....If I think of how close Holly came and of all the women

who have suffered and lost their lives and are in a battle against this insidious disease, 

well.....how dare I, hey?  If, like me,  you happen to be feeling a bit sorry for yourself today

or just downright unsatisfied with things....then read this....imagine if this happened to you..

Laughing at Cancer

Do my boobs look big in this?

“We’ll have to call you Bob” (boob with one ‘O’ missing). This was one of the many funnies my family & friends came up with after I had my mastectomy.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the ripe old age of 37 after finding a lump while showering.  After failed biopsies and inconclusive results a family friend stepped in to become my Angel of Mercy. With her persistence she got top surgeons to take my case and I was admitted straight away for more biopsies.

Surprise, surprise, it was to me, they found cancer throughout my left breast which left no other desiscion but full removal of offending mammory.  To say I was shock and terrified is an understatement. I had a partner of 18 years and an 18 month old son, things like this didn’t happen to people like me. When asked the question so many of us ask “Why”? the reply was you were just unlucky which isn’t surprising, never had any luck with raffles either. With no family history they were scratching their heads.  And so the story of Breast Cancer in my life began.

I have an extremely close family who stood strong when I needed them. I found a weakness in myself I didn’t perticularly like and old fears resurfaced which I had entirely forgotten about. Why not completely fall apart when you have the chance hey? Don’t just concentrate on one thing mind, let it all loose.

Within 2 weeks of diagnosis the remarkable surgeons remove my breast and thankful only a couple of lymph nodes and left me a few kilos lighter. This part was to be the easiest and the recover very quick. I had the chance to have Chemotherapy and Radium for longevity and by God I took it.

What fantastic timing cancer has. I mean to say could it not have waited until my schedule was empty.

My younger sister was to be married right in the thick of it. Or vis versa. All at once the strapless dresses she finally managed to convinced us to wear seemed impossible as I had yet to be fitted with a prothesis. The fitting was very emotional for both my sisters and myself but we got there eventually. Luckily they allowed me a couple of weeks grace before Chemo started as the last thing I wanted was a baldy in the wedding photos always reminding us of this horrible disease.  I hated cancer with a venom that scared me. This thing was not going to ruin my life and I damn well had to suck it up and get on with it for everyones sake.  Just to let you know the wedding was amazing.

My little boy grew up fast in the next year and went from being home with me 24/7 to staying with his grandparents sometimes for 5 days at a time. My younger sister, her husband and son became his second family and I had to ask for help. Something I didn’t do and still have troubles with today. The poor little mite took in everything and even now gets quite distressed or naughty before my check-ups.

Hubby became my whipping boy, not the erotic kind, and couldn’t do anything right sometimes. We had been together for a very long time and been good friends and partners but this was something we couldn’t do for each other and that became very hard.  He rallied around and did as much as he could and continued with house renovations that had long been let slip. Our relationship has changed it’s not as carefree as it once was and I know it’s me.  I’m holding on tight and am finding it hard to not be uptight.  This is something I never was and must regain once again. 

You know the saying what doesn’t kill you to makes you stronger. Well that’s Chemo. Nasty, poisonous, skin tingling….well you get the drift.  My dear Dad became my Chemo partner and travelled every three weeks with me over 170km round trip.  Seeing his strong daughter turn to water must have been something from a horror movie.  I had reactions to chemicals, others administered that left me wiped out and hardly able to make it back to the car but he was so calming.  Always a quiet man, in a family of 4 women, go figure, we have always got on well but I think as an adult I found a new respect for him but the strong love was always there.  He has since talked a lady at our local bakery through her treatments as she too has had reactions.  Nothing like a bit of bedside treatement with your sausage rolls.  A funny thing I remember was once after treatment, asleep in my bed one of my chooks started clucking and just wouldn’t stop. I yelled at and chased that chicken through our orchard like a maniac as noise would send me over the top.  Not a good look so it’s lucky we live on 11 acres.

My Mum, always a rock, held it together and busied herself as she always does.  She kept our house, mothered my child, myself, hubby, dad, sisters and so on while keeping the whole network running like clock work.  With nothing but positive thinking with a bit of tarot reading thrown in for good measure.  I love her dearly. Is there nothing she can do?

Being away from this disease was my other sister in Victoria.  How do you offer love and support over the phone while also receiving some back?  You don’t.  She travelled north once I was admitted to hospital and we spent around a month I think together and then they came back for Christmas.  My sisters are a quirky couple who make me laugh with a strange and dry and sometime downright stupid sense of humour.  They told me home truths and bolstered me about if I got down, shaved my head when it all started to fall out and complemented my when I needed it.  Amazingly enough after having long hair my entire life, I found I had quite a nice shaped head and being bald wasn’t as bad as I thought.  Even now with a short hair do I am still coming to terms with having to get it cut and might yet opt for that look once more.

My time for Radium came and we spent a intensive 5 weeks in the capital city.  Not so bad really as I grew up there and have amazing friends who rallied around and took turns staying with me.  My son loves the city and used to talk about his city house.  We actually had a really good time then and knowing the treatment was coming to an end was like a breath of fresh air.

I still get check ups every 3 months.  So far so good, fingers crossed. 

My life has changed.  I dress better, but have a different ”style”.  I’m more impatient than before and have a terrible temper I never new existed. I’m quicker to laugh at myself and don’t let little things bother me so much.  Although once a traveller I feel a bit scared to leave my home circle whereas before I jumped at any chance.  I’m sure that will leave eventually and things will slowly return to normal but I now realise what is important in life. LIFE ITSELF.  Corny yes but so very true. 

H. Slade

To all those who have been through this, who can relate, I honour you.....

thankyou so very much for sharing this with us Holly.....and we are

all so very grateful to have you in our lives. x
And PLEASE... Ladies...keep on checking those Boobs!!
(or have someone do it for you...whatever tickles your fancy!!)